Girl Growing Small

July 13th
12:29 PM

5 notes

I wanna go home

So I have a nasty sinus infection (third in 6 weeks) that has led me to be extremely dehydrated with dangerously low blood pressure.

Then this morning I wake up with hives on my knee, and I’m pretty sure my whole body’s a little swollen.

So let me reiterate this:

Here’s the kicker: I don’t definitively know what caused the hives. Last night I took the first dose of the antibiotic that’s supposed to treat my sinus infection. I also upped the dose of my anti depressant. (Doctor’s orders, of course.) I also ate some foods I haven’t eaten before. I also took a Benadryl before bed, so that may have lessened the severity of anything. But the fact that I took 8 different pills just before bedtime could also mean it’s a reaction between different meds. So there is no way for me to know exactly what caused this.

So one more time:

I just wanna be home with my family where I know they can take care of me and make sure I don’t die of some random allergic reaction.

July 3rd
1:27 AM

12 notes

Via

Can’t sleep. Miss her too much. :(

heymrbassman:

girlgrowingsmall:

Soon, love. Soon.

You are incredible, Ris. “I love you” doesn’t even begin to convey how I feel about you.

I love you, too, Mitch. You’re my light. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

June 13th
6:58 PM

2 notes

Thank you guys. <3 These are really sweet, and we’re loving reading them all.

February 18th
3:54 PM

3 notes

Not even 1pm, and this has been a hell of a day.

I can deal with a bad day. I love a good day. But today has been a roller coaster, and it’s barely into the afternoon! Religious fight I didn’t intend to get into, amazing Zumba class, really vivid and disturbing dreams last night, very interesting philosophical discussion with my father, one friend was afraid I didn’t care about her anymore (which I reconciled; just been busy), found out a friend I thought was close unfriended me on Facebook, I’ve gotten like 5 messages asking for pep talks, and all I want right now is a hug and a bubble bath. At least I can get one of those.

Darn it! I just realized I forgot to ask Curves about my hat again! I left a fedora there earlier this week, and I keep forgetting to claim it. >< Nuts.

January 15th
6:59 AM

9 notes

…When did I become a heartbreaker?

*This is a personal post. If you don’t like those, get out now.*

Tonight at Rocky was very rough. (I tech for The Rocky Horror Picture Show on Saturday nights.) One of the guys on tech, the guy who’s likely about to become my new tech leader, is someone I asked out back in October. Unfortunately, he didn’t have the time for me. Or anyone. His life was and is rather chaotic, as he was explaining to be tonight through watery eyes. A lot of personal stuff. But he kept apologizing to me because he said he really did want to take me out, but he just couldn’t… and now he can’t because I’m with Mitch.

Then there’s another guy on tech. The one who drove me to the hospital and stayed with me for hours in December when I ripped my finger open during the show. He’s a sweet and wonderful person, and it’s pretty darn obvious that he has an interest in me. I would love to be friends with this guy because he just radiates happiness, but I can totally cut the sexual tension with a knife.

Then there’s another guy who just poured all over me for a while, but he just flat out wasn’t my type. He’s a good guy, just, you know, we don’t click.

There’s one more guy, but he just kinda tries to hump everybody. So I don’t think much of it.

But I’m very perceptive of emotions, and I’m very empathetic. And these guys tonight when they interacted with me, they were just… it’s not like we used to interact. There was a sadness in all of it. Some outright told me, some didn’t. But apparently it was some sort of big blow when I went officially off the market.

Now don’t get me wrong here! I am enraptured with Mitch. What I feel with him, since the moment we reconnected at the New Year’s party, is NOTHING like what I feel around these guys at the show. Everything happens for a reason, and I know I didn’t get involved with one of the show boys because it allowed me to get together with Mitch. And if I had to choose from the 5 in a line-up right now, I’d go with Mitch again and again in a heartbeat because what he makes me feel is something I have never felt with anyone else before, and I wouldn’t trade that or his company and affections for the world.

But what gets me… I don’t like to upset people. These guys at the show are my friends. As friends, I care about them and want them to be happy. So when one of them looks at me with a sad face and, in one instance, tears in his eyes, I feel like I’ve caused them pain. And I’d never want to do that to anyone. It makes me feel very conflicted. Not about who I should be with, but I feel conflicted about how would be best to console my friends.

And what just kind of blows my mind in all of this: I was single for a year and a half. And I have had more people this year than in the rest of my life combined confess attraction to me. But not a single one asked me out or bothered to make a move. And I really hope it doesn’t strain those friendships now, but I am glad that none of them made a move. If they had, maybe I wouldn’t have reconnected with Mitch. Maybe I would still feel something missing and something searching. But now I don’t. He makes me so very happy. Dare I say… complete. But I am just saddened that my happiness has come at some small expense of that of others. And I really hope it goes away by next week’s show.

January 11th
8:44 PM

55 notes

Via

Dear Risa,

Remember you at 172lbs? Because the camera does. Remember how happy and active you were? Because the camera does. Remember how close you were to your goal weight? Because the camera does. We’re gonna get her back now, okay? Because you deserve the body you’ve always dreamt of, and you can be there again.

Love,

Risa

P.S. To whoever else read this: yes, I teared up writing this letter to myself.

January 6th
3:01 AM

11 notes

The most beautiful things can come from the darkest of places. All it takes is your willingness to see it through.

January 1st
3:42 PM

73 notes

So guess who’s not single anymore? If you answer either person in this photo set, you are correct. Fun story:

Mitch and I went to high school together. We met in 10th grade (2004) when we were working on the school paper together. (West Boca High School. They named the paper “The Westside Story.” Laaaaaaaaame.) There was always something there, but neither of us ever acted on it. We never really talked after that newspaper class or hung out outside of school. Just kind of drifted apart. Every so often, I’d wonder about him. How he was doing, what things would have been life if we stayed in touch more or even if we had gotten together.

Then enter Facebook. We found each other on Facebook and started catching up in 2011, 7 years later. We had both lost a ton of weight, furthered our education, really grown as people… I invited him to the New Years party I was throwing because I really wanted to finally see him again after all this time. Two days before the party, I couldn’t wait anymore, and I asked him to be my date for New Years. He was trying to hold out until New Years to ask me out (as was I), but I guess I’m just impatient. I can’t remember the last time I was this happy. Possibly when I found out I got into my major in college because they only take 40 people a year? But I don’t think it really compares, and it definitely didn’t last as long as this still-going happiness. My friend Jack has known me for a couple years, through another relationship, actually. And he said he had never seen me this happy. He said I was glowing. Mitch and I connect on a level that’s so difficult to describe. It’s that kind of thing you feel with your best friend, only best friend mental connections usually take years to form. So yeah. 2012 is already becoming an amazing year. Except for being attacked with coconut this morning (coconut allergy), but that’s another story.

Normally I don’t post these kinds of personal things on this blog, but I just wanted to share the happiness a little. <3

December 23rd
4:10 PM

6 notes

Normally I don’t like to post a lot of pics of myself, but freckle-faced-monster asked for some pics of me. Unfortunately, most of what I have in the last 6 months is in a costume or a corset, but it’ll have to do. So here’s a collection of photos of me for all my creepy stalkers out there. Photos are oldest (August) to newest (November). The one with the long brown hair: yes, that’s a wig. And that’s my Mommy next to me. She’s lost almost 50lbs with Weight Watchers!

December 17th
12:38 AM

2 notes

Risa Pro-Tip: If you say nasty, horrible things to/about me on Facebook for no damn reason, I report and block your ass.

September 26th
3:47 PM

14 notes

Via

thedamneddontdie:

Lunch- 240 calories

That looks super tasty! Where do they sell those?

September 23rd
12:21 PM

47 notes

Source

Via

bariatricbadass:

Fleetwood
racingwithmyself:

I am no where near where I want to be. However, I feel amazing. I am so proud of myself. Just goes to show that healthy weight loss takes time. It doesn’t take a month to lose 20 pounds. It takes 2-3. I just can’t believe my legs. AHH.

This really pleases me to see because I am 255. Go you!

September 20th
6:00 PM

4 notes

Via

jesuisemi:

September 2010 and September 2011. 35 pounds gone! (the smiles in the last 3 are actually genuine!)

This woman has light in her. You can see it in that gorgeous face. <3 Much respect.

September 11th
5:27 PM

56 notes

Source

Via